Dear General Zinni:
From: Harvey Tannenbaum
Dear General Zinni:
I hope that the snow in Washington is pretty and not too disrupting for you.
We here are enjoying lots of rain and fog. Although the fog sometimes
blocks the view and the vision for us,we now see very clearly. We wanted to
update you on this status report in the field here with our terrorists.
As you know in addition to our army bombing out the empty buildings
throughout the Arab terrorist cities after each Jewish funeral here which
resulted from a terror attack by the Arabs,we have used our army to do some
search and destroy missions. You remember those missions from Vietnam when
you served with Colin Powell over there in the jungle fields of Vietnam.
We had presented to you in alphabetical order the 'lists' of wanted
terrorists that our intelligence here had targeted for Yassir Arafat to
arrest. These lists were all in English in a 14 sized font, in bold type.
They also gave home addresses, phone numbers, and place of terror work
establishments in Nablus,Jenin,TulKarem and other Arab towns here in Israel.
We know that you gave all those lists to the CIA,the FBI,and to Yassir in
your demand to have him arrest them.
Well,over the past few days,we and our IDF found many of these terrorists
whom Yassir had sworn to you over the Koran that he had arrested all of
them. The terrorists were running loose and free in the various Arab towns.
We always knew that
it costs money to house and arrest terrorists. We also knew that there were
no locksmiths allowed in these jails of Yassir. The locks were always in
good condition as they were never used to lock the jails.
In the past 3 days, our IDF has arrested 21 of the top terrorists in those
lists that you have been carrying around. In fact, 4 of the top Hamas
terrorists in the Shomron(you know West Bank area)were caught today making
bombs in the bomb factory in Nablus. The IDF killed all 4 terrorists.
Three of these four terrorists were supposed to be Yassir's jails according
to the list he supplied you during your last visit here. We assume that
this 'jail' was a bomb making apartment building and far from a jail per se.
We also arrested two more Hamas terrorists floating around Bethlehem,not
looking for Jesus or Mary,but preparing more suicidal bombs and bombers.
So all in all, the Israeli government has now killed many of the terrorists
that Yassir told you whom were allegedly in jails. Unfortunately,the
scores of arrested
terrorists are now on our governmental budget which already has deep
deficits. Do you know,General, how much it costs to feed and house
terrorists in our prisons?
Anyway,Yassir just let out Salah,a Hamas official,who was sitting in an
unlocked jail in Nablus because the other terrorists were upset that four of
their bigshots will not be 'arRESTed' due to their final RESTing place
6ft. under the jail. So please accept this status report to update you that
if they don't arrest,the IDF will arrest, and if they don't kill the
terrorists, the IDF will do the job.
Finally, if you can get the President to advance some money on his budget so
we can pay for the upkeep in our locked jails of these terrorists that have
been arrested by Israel,we'd appreciate it. You can send it by Western
Union or bank transfer.
Harvey Tannenbaum
Compiling Status Reports
for General Zinni
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