A Taste of Torah in honor of Shabbat
from Rabbi Avi Weiss

Parshat Tazria-Mezora 5759
April 16-17, 1999/ 1 Iyyar 5759

Rekindling Love Between Husband and Wife

Those who seek reasons for Jewish ritual (ta'amei ha-mitzvot) by and large view such observances as a conduit to better feel the presence of God.  But ritual can also have an alternative goal - to teach ethical lessons in accordance with God's will.

A good example is the laws of family purity found in this week's reading (Leviticus Chapter 15) which can be viewed as teaching the Torah ethics of love.  The laws include immersion in a mikveh ( a natural pool of water) which permits husband and wife to re-engage in sexual relations.  This can be seen as a tool through which couples can learn basic lessons about love.

On its simplest level, water is associated with birth.   Consider the following: the world begins as God hovers over the face of the waters. (Genesis 1:2)  We become a people as we march through the split sea. (Exodus Ch. 14)   We enter Israel as a Jewish people, after crossing the Jordan River. (Joshua Ch. 4)    Bearing in mind that marriages too often become monotonous and even boring, can it be argued that immersion is an attempt to inspire husband and wife to rekindle their love-as if it was reborn?

No wonder water in the Bible is often associated with love. Yitzhak's (Isaac) wife, Rivka (Rebecca) is found at the well. (Genesis Ch. 24)  Yaakov (Jacob) meets Rachel as flocks gather around the water. (Genesis Ch. 29)  Moshe (Moses) comes in contact with his wife to be, Zipporah, after saving her and her siblings at the river. (Exodus Ch. 2)   From this perspective, immersion may be understood as an attempt to mystically bring husband and wife back to those Biblical moments suffused with beautiful romance.   The moments surrounding mikvah should evoke memories of the first natural bodies of water mentioned in the Torah -- those in Paradise, in the Garden of Eden.(Genesis 2:10-14)

Not coincidentally, water and love have much in common. Without water, one cannot live.  Without love, life is virtually impossible.   But, as my dear friend Dr. Bob Grieff pointed out, water, like love, can be fleeting.  As water can slip through ones fingers, so can love, if not nurtured, easily slip away.

Ritual requires meticulous Halakhic observance; but this external observance should be a manifestation of a deep internal message.  In the case of mikvah, the immersion can remind us that relationships must be nurtured, and that each and every day couples ought strive to love each other more deeply than yesterday - as if their love is born anew.

Shabbat Shalom

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Rabbi Avi Weiss, Hebrew Institute of Riverdale
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