A Taste of Torah in honor of Shabbat
from Rabbi Avi Weiss

Parshat Toldot
DECEMBER 1-2, 2000 / 5 KISLEV 5761

RIVKAH'S EXAMPLE OF UNCONDITIONAL LOVE

As Ya'akov (Jacob) leaves his parents' home at the behest of his mother Rivkah (Rebecca), the Torah declares that Rivkah was the mother of both Ya'akov and Esav (Esau).  (Genesis 28:5)  At first blush this seems to be an unnecessary statement.  Anyone who had been reading the portion certainly knows this fact.

Even Rashi, the greatest of commentators, writes that he does not know why the Torah mentions this.  Rashi's admission of "I do not know" teaches an important lesson.  People should be prepared to admit lack of knowledge rather than deceive others into assuming they know when they do not. 

Yet, there are commentators who try to understand why the text here includes the fact that Rivkah was the mother of Ya'akov and Esav.  The most appealing view is that of Tzedah Laderekh, (Issachar Ber Parnas, Italy, 16c) quoted by Nehama Lebowitz.  Before pointing out his comment, a little background on the story is necessary. 

In our portion, Rivkah convinces Ya'akov to fool his father and take the birthright from Esav.  For Rivkah the future was with Ya'akov.  He was to be the third patriarch.  Rivkah viewed Esav as unworthy, no more than a hunter, a rebel who strayed and even married out of the family.  (Genesis 26:34) 

Once Ya'akov had taken the blessings, Rivkah overhears that Esav, outraged that he had been short-changed, has plans to eventually kill Ya'akov.  She therefore arranges that Ya'akov leave home. (Genesis 27:41-43) 

Rivkah's concern was clearly for Ya'akov's well being--but, it is crucial to understand that she was equally concerned for Esav.  If Esav would kill  Ya'akov, not only would Ya'akov, Rivkah's beloved son, be dead, but Esav the murderer, would also have "died" in Rivkah's eyes.  This fear of losing both children is clearly reflected when Rivkah points out, "why should I lose both of you (both of my children) in one day"  (Genesis 27:45).  Rivkah loved Esav as well.  She feared that if Esav would kill Ya'akov her love fo  Esav would no longer be.

Hence, Tzedah Laderekh concludes, the Torah states that Rivkah was Ya'akov and Esav's mother.  In other words the reason she insists Ya'akov leave was not only because she loved Ya'akov but also because of her love and concern for Esav.  She was, after all, the beloved mother of both.

An important message.  Often it is the case that our children rebel.  They abandon values and priorities that are held dear.  Many leave the faith or do all kinds of things that upset and even outrage parents.  While parents should certainly point out their feelings to their children, the Torah teaches no matter the nature or the actions of the child, a parent is a parent and love for a child must be endless and unconditional.

Like Rivkah's love for Esav.  As evil as he was, and as much as we know that the Torah points out her love for Ya'akov, she still had great love and concern for her eldest son and sends Ya'akov away not only to protect Ya'akov but to protect Esav as well.

Shabbat Shalom!