As Hagar sits a distance from her dying son Yishmael an angel appears and declares “Mah lakh Hagar? What ails you Hagar?” (Genesis 21:17)  One may claim that this question is actually rhetorical for God’s emissary obviously knows what is bothering Hagar.

In truth, rhetorical questions play an important role in the Torah and usually appear in order to present a criticism.  For example, when God asks Adam, “Ayeka,” after he ate from the tree of the Garden of Eden he obviously knew where, physically, Adam was located.  (Genesis 3:9)  God was actually making a clear statement to Adam, criticizing him and asking him, “What have you done?  Why did you disobey Me?”
 
One wonders then why was the angel critical of Hagar in our narrative?

Keep in mind that God had previously promised Hagar that she would have a child who would “dwell in the face of all his brethren.”  (Genesis 16:12)  God later tells Avraham that Yishmael would become “a great nation,” (Genesis 17:20) – a promise Avraham no doubt shared with Hagar.  Still, here in the desert Hagar feared for Yishmael’s life for she sensed that his death was imminent (Genesis 21:16).  Her feeling displayed a loss of faith in the Divine promise.  When the angel asks "what ails you Hagar?” he actually is asking Hagar, “What is wrong? Have you lost faith in God?!”

Rabbi David Silber notes that whenever the Torah uses the term to’eh it means to wander.  Not in the physical sense but in the metaphysical one--to stray from the right path.  Not coincidentally the Torah in the Hagar narrative states she strayed, va-teyta, in the wilderness.  (Genesis 21:14)  This confirms our belief that in this case, Hagar had lost her spiritual way.

This idea of to’eh is also found when Avraham, for a second time, declares that Sarah is his sister.  He tells Avimelech, “and it came to pass when God caused me to wander (hit-u).”  (Genesis 20:13)  Here, Avraham is straying.  He misidentifies Sarah as his sister, rather than pointing out that she is his covenantal wife from whom the second patriarch would come.

The term to’eh is found in one other place in Genesis.  When Joseph seeks out his brethren, the Torah states, “And behold, he was wondering (to’eh) in the field.” (Genesis 37:15)  Once again, wander, to’eh, means that Joseph was not only lost physically. He had lost his sense of brotherhood, and he also bore responsibility for breaking up the family unit.

In all these cases the personalities who were to’eh, eventually found their way back.  Yishmael is saved; Avraham recognizes that Sarah is his covenantal wife and Yitzchak his covenantal son; Joseph and his brothers unite.  This teaches all of us the power to return and to correct our mistakes.

Everyone will be to’eh.  Inevitably everyone makes mistakes.  The question is not whether one will stray, rather how will we respond when we stray.  Will we give in to our leanings and continue to be in a state of to’eh, or will we stand up and rise against the tide and work on our souls and our lives until we get back on the road of holiness and connection and walk the straight path.

Shabbat Shalom,

Rabbi Avi Weiss